Archive for May, 2009

Things I did tonight instead of writing this blog post

May 26, 2009

1. stayed late at work to attend a staff meeting
2. ate delicious vegan hot dogs with salsa.
3. ate turkey jerkey thus rather defeating the purpose of the above.
4. played Lego Star Wars for about an hour (or two)
5. went to the gym
6. Avoided looking at the pile of marking sitting on my desk.
7. wrote THIS blog post.

Normal programming will resume soon.

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If you think punk’s dead you haven’t met my friends

May 17, 2009

They’re at it again and again and again.

Today I arrived home to find a mysterious package awaiting me, bulging with the mysterious but instantly recognizable outline of a 7 inch (italicise at will).

I vaguely remembered buying a record online at some point from somewhere, but couldn’t actually recall who or what or where.

This is what lay therein:

Public Utility Complaint

That is:

1x Manila envelope on which were written the words “Hello from Philadelphia! DIY Punk to Bahrain!”

1×7″ record on clear blue vinyl (1 of 100 pressed)

1x Booklet outlining the current practices of various Philadelphan Utility companies and their penchant for cutting off essential services (heating, electricity etc) to some of the city’s poorer residents during winter.

1x Record sleeve with photograph of Dan Yemin and cuddly toy

All of which (barring the record itself of course) was made BY HAND. By an actual person. In a smelly garage somewhere in Philadelphia.

Total cost: $9 US (inc shipping).

And this is but one of the reasons I love this music.

Oh, for those playing at home the band is Amateur Party, and the 7″ is titled Public Utility Complaint.

Their distro describes them as:

Thoughtful, politically oriented, DC-sounding punk from members of KILL THE MAN WHO QUESTIONS, OFF MINOR, LIMP WRIST, and ARMALITE. For fans of the DC/Dischord sound with an added layer of real catchiness and fun.

Recommended.

Would you like larvae with that?

May 16, 2009
I guess he/she didnt eat much.

I guess he/she didn't eat much.

This made me chuckle

May 12, 2009

Because I’m very, very tired.

From the label of the bottle of whiteboard cleaner upon my desk:

“Strong” White board Cleaner spray type.

this product is made and refined from natural, eatable sea salt and fresh cocos. Nc harm in human’s skin, chemical-free ingredient is the Most ideal and multi-fuctional cleaning fluid for environment protection. Abilities of anti-rust and resolving dirty part strongly and Rapidly.

Yih Thank

And who hasn’t wanted their dirty part resolved strongly and rapidly at one time or another.

Ten Superman comic plots I’ve thought of, that have probably already been done.

May 6, 2009

1. Superman gets a puppy. The puppy is made of Kryptonite.

2. Lex Luthor injects Superman with nanobots. Which are made of Kryptonite.

3. Lex Luthor puts a lump of Kryptonite in a pillow case and totally goes to town on Superman with it.

4. Superman breaks a fluroescent lightbulb, flooding the room with Krypton gas. He panics momentarily until he realises that actually Krypton gas has no relation to Kryptonite which is totally made up.

5. Lex Luthor sends Clark Kent an anonymous bunch of super-flowers, with a return address. Clark sends a thankyou note to the address, but Lex, knowing Clark’s movements, replaces the mailbox with one made of Kryptonite.

6. Lex Luthor gives Superman some candy. Or Kandy. Because its made of Kryptonite. This gives Superman a Kavity. When he goes to the dentist to have it filled, the dentist is actually Lex Luthor and fills his tooth with Kryptonite.

7. Although deadly in large quantities, Superman realises that a small dose of Kryptonite, cut with a base mineral such as biKarbonate Soda, actually makes him feel ‘kinda funny and cool’. What begins as a recreational flirtation with Kryptonite intoxication (or “greening”) soon becomes an addiction. In no time at all Superman is starting each super-day by smoking unrefined Kryptonite off tin-foil, just to feel ‘normal’. After waking up in an alleyway with a nose bleed and soaked in super-urine (with a vague recollection of destroying Wayne Manor with his heat vision), Superman enrols in a 12 step program. Unfortunately it is run by Lexcorp and the 12th step is Kryptonite.

8. Superman ruthlessly slaughters scores of Crytpozoologists, before realising that the word is spelled with a C and has nothing to do with nefarious schemes to breed a race of super-strong Kryptonite imbued Gorilla warriors. His misdirected murder spree distracts him for long enough for Lex Luthor to breed a race of super-strong Kryptonite imbued Gorilla warriors

9. Superman specifically asks the pizza place not to put any Kryptonite on his pizza. When his pizza arrives, it totally has fucking Kryptonite all over it. The delivery guy tells him to stop being such a pussy and just pick it off.

10. Superman spends an entire comic book sitting in his fortress of solitude, grappling with his deep seated feelings of abandonment for being sent into space by his parents. Then something happens involving Kryptonite.

Throwin’ up the عنزة

May 4, 2009

It always suprises me how, now matter how conservative/religious a country is (Bahrain) or how poor/isolated an area (Liaoyang), Heavy Metal always finds its way into the ears and shirts of local teenagers. This ranges from the terrible (Linkin Park) to the odd (the Scorpions are HUGE here) to the “I guess you can get away with wearing that because know one knows what it means” (Deicide).

Apparently there are limits though.

I need to find out where these gigs happen.

NB: For those of you inexperienced in these sorts of things, don’t read the comments. As with almost any news item posted almost anywhere, they will melt your brain in their inanity.

Filler.

May 3, 2009

The top three google image results for the word ‘obstruction’.

That’s the kind of quality that is delivered round these parts.