Archive for November, 2008

Globalisation is…

November 22, 2008

Watching Kuwait play Oman in Gaelic Football at an Irish festival at the Bahrain Rugby Club. Then retiring to the clubrooms to hear an American U2 tribute band, and meeting 2 people who went to the same high school as you in New Zealand.

Then forgetting their names on account of the quantity of German beer consumed.

Crap Emporium Extreme Adventure

November 14, 2008

Those of you that had the pleasure of knowing me during my stint in Melbourne, will perchance remember my fondness for a humble Sydney Road establishment by the name of Hot Potatoes (or H t Pota oe if the sign was to be believed). It was the kind of store where countless delights lay in wait, at rock bottom prices, most of which had no useful function whatsoever (those claiming to have a function were perhaps the most useless of all “well it says CAN OPENER right here on the piece of cardboard it was twisty-tied to!”). This was the kind of establishment where you wandered in thinking “I don’t need to purchase anything in particular today” and then left staggering under the weight of $8 worth of off-brand, poorly manufactured miscellania. I loved it.

Some* have even theorised that my sojourn in China was an attempt to find the mythical font of all of this useless but strangely compelling consumer detritus. This was not the case (nor was I able to find it, living as I was amongst manufacturers of the large and steely, not the small and plastic).

Given the above blathering, you can imagine how chuffed I was to discover this understated gem, nestled amongst the smelly backways of the Bahrain central market.

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Need a box of laundry detergent bigger than most washing machines? Check.
Need to buy a carton of 1 dozen torches whose operational life is probably shorter than that of the batteries inside? Check.
Need a bottle of perfume inspired by the latest Hugo Boss scent (‘inspired by’ in this instance meaning “we made a feral cat look at an advertisement for Hugo Boss’ latest scent while it urinated into the phial”). Check.

The fact that as you are approaching the door you are almost struck blind by the practically visible stench wafting over from the fishmarket just makes the indoor aroma of cheap incense and the aforementioned cat pee all the more alluring.

As it was I made it out fairly restrained, buying only a small wooden shoe rack, a tripod that is unlikely to bear the weight of my tiny camera, and, most lifechangingly, this:

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take that everybody who can’t iron things directly on their hand.

*some such as me. Just now.

Things I didn’t know were a thing

November 5, 2008

The first in a series that will undoubtedly grow as I become older and crotchier.

SLAMBALL

Take one part Basketball, one part Trampoline, and a generous dash of “Wow we have NINE channels of sport programming to fill? And we’re only allowed to show golf on a maximum of 5 at a time?”

All other non-trampoline-involving sports now seem dull and unbouncy by comparison.

Dark Days Indeed

November 5, 2008

It is now slightly more difficult for me to procure beer in the kingdom of Bahrain.

Ironically, probably the result of increased democratisation.

This is why me and democracy aren’t speaking to each other right now. Lucky there’s no important elections or anything going on.